Awareness.
Part of my journey of growth in the area of leadership includes looking in the mirror. Evaluating who I am as a leader. Taking time to consider my skills, strengths and weaknesses. Identifying areas in which I need to grow or change. In short, being aware.
I was reminded last week of a quote by Socrates. "The unexamined life is not worth living."
The quote came up in a phone conversation I had with my friend Tom Petrilak. I met Tom at New Hope a few years back. At that time he was a Captain in the United States Navy. He's since retired and now lives on the east coast in North Carolina with his wife Dottie. Amazing people! I'm glad our paths crossed.
Tom is a member of a men's small group that I have been in for a few years meeting every Wednesday morning. There are some local guys; and a couple of the guys in the group have retired and moved away. Tom is one of them. I'm very happy that we can maintain a connection. I wasn't very happy that he moved away. He's one of those people that just builds you up whenever you are around him.
A Heart to Heart Talk
I had sent Tom an article on the relationship between Grace and Discipleship for his feedback. (Maybe I'll blog about that article one day). Tom had contacted me back and wanted to have a phone conversation about the article, which we did last week. It was a great conversation, and part of the talk ended up being about me and my role as a minister at New Hope, specifically about some insecurities I have in the area of leadership. (We also discussed some insecurities that he had in other areas.)
After reflectively listening to me for quite a while, Tom encouraged me to spend time regularly in self examination, to purposely go through an exercise regularly where I examine my current ideas, attitudes, and emotions and how those can cause conflict in my life...for me, among other things, how they can specifically cause me to have doubts or insecurities about my leadership abilities. He then took time to walk me through that exercise.
In my roles at New Hope, serving as the Executive Pastor and Discipleship Pastor, I am a leader. Whether or not I have a lot of gifts or natural skills in leadership, I am a leader. I need to continually develop and grow as a leader. I want to continually develop and grow as a leader.I want to be a good leader to glorify God and point people to Him. I think I can disciple through my responsibilities as a leader in these roles.
One thing I don't struggle with is arrogance. One thing I do struggle with is doubts. I think both are wrong because the focus is on me, not on God. I believe God can take me just as I am and grow me through His teaching and the experiences that He gives me and the training that He encourages me to take through His Spirit and the books that He leads me to read and make me a better leader for His glory.
Last week, I think He used Tom to teach me.
As I Self-Examine, Is My Focus God?
The exercise that Tom led me through in it's simplest form said that my doubts were an attitude or an emotion caused by ideas that were ingrained in my mind. As I do this exercise that Tom suggested in self-examination, there comes a point where I ask if any of the ideas that are ingrained in my mind are bringing me closer to God, or pushing me away from God.
Just this morning I read a quote by Watchman Nee, a Chinese Christian leader and teacher, who said,"If you would test the character of anything, you only need to inquire whether or not that thing leads you to God or away from God."
You see, it's not that I want or need to be a better leader as an end game, I want and need to improve my leadership to glorify God. The focus has to be Him. It is God who put me here in these roles at New Hope. I want everything I do in those roles to bring glory and honor to Him.
And so, as I do what I believe is my part in learning and improving, I believe that I should frequently pause and evaluate. To make sure I'm growing. In my skills and abilities as a leader and in my relationship with Jesus and that my growth and performance is for the glory of God alone.
The Law of Awareness
As a reminder, I recently completed an online self-paced course by John Maxwell, a subject matter expert in Leadership, called The 15 Laws of Growth. It's no coincidence that the second Law of Growth that I studied is The Law of Awareness.
And again, while the material was technically on the subject of "growth," it was really about leadership. Go to the source for more info on the course.
If you're reading along about my own journey of growing in leadership, and you want to grow as a leader as well, maybe this will benefit you.
Some summary statements of The Law of Awareness:
You must know yourself to grow yourself.
No one can produce great things who is not thoroughly dealing with himself.
Reality requires awareness.
In the course John talked about his personal story. How he moved as a pastor and leader from focusing on shepherding his flock individually to shepherding and ranching (developing other shepherds). How he stopped just counseling his members and started equipping them.
The course then took me through some reflection questions. Maybe you should ask these of yourself too. Especially if you are currently in a role that you don't like.
1. Do I like what I'm doing now? For me, do I like being the Executive Pastor and Discipleship Pastor at New Hope? If the answer is no, I should quit. If it is yes, I should re-double my efforts. (Note: My answer was yes. Interestingly enough, I've liked every job I've had in my life while I was doing it, at least up until right before I left it).)
2. What would I like to do? For me, for now, the answer is this, what I'm doing now. But even if the answer is that I'm doing what I like, I think I should ask this question of me often. As a regular part of self examination. There will probably come a time when it's time to move on to something else, and when that time comes, I'll need to ask this question.
3. Can I do what I would like to do? As John says, giftedness trumps passion any day. For me, I think I have some leadership gifts, but God has definitely taken me on a journey in my life to develop leadership skills.
4. Do I know people who do what I would like to do? For me, this question converts to do I know people who do what I am now doing? Can I develop a relationship with them and grow from the experience.
5. Will I pay the price to do what I want to do? I think that answer is yes. In my life, I've paid the price several times to do what I wanted to do. I'm writing about those in the story of my journey.
6. When can I start doing what I'd like to do? I think basically here John's encouraging the people in the course to take action. Don't stay in a place doing a job they don't like.
As I eluded to earlier, this is definitely a good exercise for anyone who isn't currently doing as a vocation what they want to do. For those of us who are, it's a good exercise as part of a process of regular self-examination. And that's The Law of Awareness.
Back to Tom.
He sent some follow up information to our conversation to me by email. Part of it included a prayer that he personalized for me. Here it is...
Set Aside Prayer
Lord, today help me set aside
Everything I think I know about You,
Everything I think I know
About myself,
Everything I think I know
About others, and
Everything I think I know
About being an Executive Pastor and Discipleship Minister
So I may have an open mind
And a new experience
With each of these.
Please let me see the truth.
I think what that prayer does it to help me keep my focus on God and not on me.
He wants to reveal more of Himself to me. We are in a relationship. He wants that relationship to grow and not stay where it is now.
He wants to teach me. He wants to develop me into a leader. He wants to grow me as a disciple.
He wants to show His love to others through me. He will bring them across my path. I need to look to Him.
My journey in leadership continues.
Note: Blog entries in this specific category are about my journey in leadership. Writing about my journey in leadership helps me to grow as a leader. Maybe it will help someone else on their leadership journey as well.
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