I cried a lot this morning.
I'm still processing the reason. I mean, logically I know the occasion and the primary contributing factor which led to a lot of tears and a huge lump in my throat. I was watching the live stream of the memorial service honoring the life and ministry of Ravi Zacharias.
(Note: It's available on YouTube here. Whether or not you know anything about Ravi or not, I'd recommend you take the time to watch this memorial service. With tissues.)
But I'm still processing why I was crying.
Ravi died 10 days ago. He had recently been diagnosed with a rare cancer in his back and he went downhill very quickly.
Ravi was a world renowned minister, author, speaker. His field of expertise was apologetics.
Apologetics as a field of study eluded me for years. I can remember as late as the late 1990's that I didn't really understand what the word meant. Diane and I were leading our church's college ministry and one of the other volunteer leaders, Jeff Adams, kept insisting that we teach apologetics. Sadly, I probably gave him the brush off because I didn't understand what apologetics is. I guess the name had confused me because it had always sounded to me like I was apologizing for being a Christian. Christianity was already at that time being really marginalized in America and the last thing I wanted to do was apologize for loving Jesus Christ and trying to follow Him. I'm not going to say I'm sorry for being a Christ Follower!!
So what is it? Apologetics is the intellectual defense of the truth of the Christian faith. A ready defense. It's from the Greek word apologia which, in classical times, simply meant defense, or a reasoned defense. Think court of law.
Cultural apologist Voddie Baucham (one of my heroes of the faith) defines apologetics in its simplest form as "knowing what we believe and why we believe it, and being able to communicate that to others in an effective and winsome manner."
At some point in recent years, I have finally reached an understanding of the importance of apologetics. I've started studying it. That's where Ravi came in. He is one of my teachers of the subject from afar.
And as I watched and heard of how he taught and influenced and impacted and mentored so many others in the field of apologetics, I cried. Because his work here is now done. And weirdly I feel a loss.
Today's memorial was a tribute to a spiritual giant. Some of the great leaders of the faith spoke. Vice President Pence spoke. Tim Tebow spoke. Louie Giglio led it. It was mentioned in the memorial service that Billy Graham is known as the greatest evangelist of our time. And if that is so, then Ravi Zacharias is known as the greatest Christian apologist of our time. He's the C.S. Lewis of our generation.
I've heard him speak a number of times. I agree with my friend Dr. Katherine Wingate who told me that when she and her husband Kent heard him, it took them a good 10 minutes to adjust their thinking and hearing to the higher plane of his delivery. He had beautiful logic. In my opinion he was probably the most intelligent speaker I've ever heard.
I last listened to Ravi "live" as he spoke at this year's Passion Conference in Atlanta. (I watched online this gathering of tens of thousands of college students who were in the Georgia Dome. My son Noah was there.) As usual, I was in awe at Ravi's command of the language, his command of the topic, and the compelling way that he spoke with the students. Not "to" the students or "at" the students, but "with" the students.
I've listened to audio of many of his talks. I've read some of his books.
And now, only a few months later after that night in Atlanta, he has died. And I cried.
I cried because even though I never met him in person and we weren't friends, I claimed him as a living hero of the faith. My faith. Someone who could easily put into words what I struggle to put into words. A logical defense of Christianity. And now another of my heroes has gone.
The older I get, the more heroes I lose.
Today's service solidified my commitment.
In thinking a lot today about Ravi, about the impact he had on people, about his love for Jesus, about apologetics, about my desire to better know apologetics, about my desire to better know what I believe and why I believe it and to be able to communicate it in an effective and winsome manner, and my desire to be able to respond when those God has put into my path have questions...ultimately my desire to better know my God...I committed to redouble my efforts in the study of apologetics.
Two coincidences come to mind. (But I don't really believe in coincidences).
First, in my journey in the area of leadership, last week I had decided that apologetics was an area of growth that I wanted to focus on. Read about that here. Today's experience confirmed that for me.
Second, when Ravi died and the tributes started pouring in, I noticed on social media a picture of Ravi and Eric Metaxes, an author I admire. Ravi was holding one of Eric's books, and Eric was holding a copy of Ravi's book The Logic of God. I remembered that I had listened to that talk between the two of them recently and had, on Eric's recommendation, obtained a copy of Ravi's book. It was on my desk at work. I haven't really immersed myself in it yet.
Since apologetics is an area I want to grow in, and Ravi is considered the greatest apologist of our time, and I have the book in front of me...well, maybe that's the path I'm supposed to take for the foreseeable future. To immerse myself in the study of apologetics, first using this book as a guide.
In the intro to the book, Ravi starts by saying "Today, many people think it is naive to believe in God because there is not enough evidence for His existence." He goes on,"and even less believe that He has affirmed that the claims of the gospel of Jesus Christ are true and lead to a worldview that offers the most coherent and logical answers to life's four essential questions - origin, meaning, morality, and destiny."
The next paragraph grabbed me. "For the Christian this is where the battle must be fought, for no worldview suffers more from the loss of belief in God than the Christian one. And unless the "logic" of God - the evidence He has provided us of His existence - is defended, is sought after, is fully engaged with our hearts and minds, every essential of the Christian faith will be deemed illogical and untrue, thereby making them unworthy of rational assent."
As a Christ Follower, I need to understand apologetics.
I'm not saying I'm sorry.
I'm not saying I'm sorry that I'm a Christ Follower, but I do want to be an apologist. To know what I believe and why I believe it. And hopefully to be able to communicate it to others.
I'm not saying I'm sorry that I cried a lot today. They weren't tears of despair, but rather of empathy towards the sadness that Ravi's friends and family expressed at his absence. Ravi is rejoicing. He's heard the Lord say "well done, good and faithful servant."
Au revoir, Ravi. I hope to sit and chat with you someday.
For now, my journey continues.
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